Vodka, shaken and disturbed

Vodka, the “purest” from of alcohol, has been adulterated more times then the whore-bags on “Lays of our lives!” By nature, vodka use to be judged by its absence of flavor and every form of alcohol begins their life as vodka. Bourbon, tequila, gin and many others all begin as vodka until other processes are applied. Things like oak aging, flavoring and my favorite…caramel coloring are added and then viola, they are something else. But vodka remains the purest form of alcohol.

So why do companies “flavor” vodka? Because we buy it! Advertising genius! In the past five years, 115 new flavored vodkas have been introduced, according to the Distilled Spirits Council of the United States (DISCUS). Types like, espresso, blood orange, citron, raspberry, infused pepper, coconut and when reviewed one was described as being “reminiscent of scotch.” WLF, Scotch! What’s next, “Wasabi” infused Vodka? Oh, sorry they have already done that.

Even so-called “Premium,” Grey Goose, Absolut and other vodkas when mixed into a Cosmo or my favorite “Dirty” are not at all distinguishable from a reasonably priced vodka. Don’t believe me? Order the two drinks side by side and find out for yourself, or ask your trusty bartender! Also, take the time to squeeze a lemon, lime or an orange into vodka and compare it to a flavored brand and see which one tastes better; answer will become obvious. Stories abound about unscrupulous bars, with huge basement factories, substituting “basic” vodka, brands like Smirnoff, for premium brands with no one the wiser.

If you need your vodka “flavored” as a means of enjoyment, maybe it is time to move onto something else. Maybe quit drinking “mock-tinis” and try a real one made with gin. If you want to try this in small steps then get some Hendricks gin, it is flavored with rose-pedals and cucumbers.

Also, ask yourself this, if vodka is judged by it neutral flavor and adding “flavorings” create other types of alcohol, than adding flavorings to vodka means that it is still vodka?

The PERFECT martini…
1.    Your favorite reasonably priced vodka, like Smirnoff
2.    Ice
3.    Shaker
4.    Glass
5.    Drink
Repeat steps 1-4 until you reach your individual goal